yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
