Where is the hickey?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
