I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
