I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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