Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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