I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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