I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
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obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
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He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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