Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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