I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
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he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
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We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I party with great urgency now.
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