hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
