So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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