You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
