Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My ATM looks so different sober.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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