You just made me feel so damn special
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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