Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
