she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
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I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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