Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
