Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My penis needs a shock collar
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have fence marks all over my body
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
