The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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