im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
