I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
