its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
