ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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