I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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