Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sponge bath it is.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
