wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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