I didn't shave. On purpose
Small penises have feelings too.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
