We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
