meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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