when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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