why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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