I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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