If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
