Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize