Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
