I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
well you can't waste a boner
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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