have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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