My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
