So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
