nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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