you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
