oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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