Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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