Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
