another moral hangover. fuck.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
