Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
