he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
