If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
