ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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