I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
