butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
