yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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