Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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