hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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