I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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