It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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