I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
