I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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