just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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