My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize