There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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