I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We got so high we made milksteak
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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