They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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