Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
