i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
