So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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